Friday, December 18, 2009


-im not some-one who can easily say how i feel..esp to u..usually everything goes wrong when im talkin with u..the words come out tone comes out wrong too..yes im useless like not like other gals..who know how to play around with not like them..who know how to win your just me..i do not know how or what to have u realise..the love i have for u is real..'let nature takes its course..' they say.. 'just relax..and things will be ok gal..' they it gonna to be?..the time for u to leave is drawin near..and yet i still cant tell u..whether in person or not..i love u..plz dun go..stay stay stay...
*1st pic-le love
*2nd pic-karishma.tumblr

Wednesday, December 2, 2009


-dont go..dont go..
-come with me and listen to what the stars are saying?..

-a glittering black rose just for u..

There's a musical box
playing softly in here
can u hear it?
are u able to?
do u want to?
It's always in here
waiting wishing
some-one to notice it to treasure it
waiting wishing
u would
It remains inside here
every-one forgets about it
it remains inside here
no-one willing to open it
My musical box is playing
can u hear me?
*all pics from kari-shma tumblelog

Thursday, November 12, 2009


-the same expression i wana do whenever im face with troublems..unhappiness etc..
-im not this strong gal almost every-one thinks i am..i do want some-one to hold my hand..tell me its gonna be just human..after all..

-a word i keep telling my mind..trying hard to shut it up..trying hard to be numb..trying hard not to feel as much..i duno why..but lately been losing the will to not talking about killing myself..i wont have the guts to do so anyway..its just..i duno why im this place..doing what im doing..i duno what is there left to fight for in life seems matter what i not enough..its not trying hard enough..i duno how to make an effort..i duno am i making enough effort..and i dont wana give up..just like losing sleep..
-'stay..dont go..plz..stay..i need you here..' these words..when will i have the courage to say to you?..
*1st and 2nd pics from the animalblog
*4gotten where i get the last bad..

Thursday, November 5, 2009


-yes i needed this..

-times like this..i wish i could turn into bubbles..and just be blown gone..

-Im walking in circles
round and round
no begining no end

All is dark
i cant see
where is everybody?
why am i alone here?

Is there even some-one
i could really turn to?
is there a hand
to hold me through?

Im walking in circles
round and round

*all pics from kari-shma tumblr

Thursday, October 29, 2009


-Little broken butterflies
flying out from within of me
wanting wishing to be there with you

I'm calling out to you
can you hear me?

-these two words i've said to you..what i wana tell you is more than just words..words alone cant express what my heart wanna tell you..stay..plz dont go..stay..

-often i ask myself why i started this blog..true it serves as an outlet for pen down when im serves as an outlet for me to write my poems..but..really..why i started this blog?..

words alone cant truly express my feelings..nowadays i dun really wana talk much too..cuz it seems every-one around me is time for me..i suppose its mostly cuz they are sick and tire of hearin my constant constant complaining..

forgotten where i got 2nd and 3rd pics..sorry..

Friday, October 23, 2009


-love this pic..alwaz make me smile a little..

-does any-one knows where i can get black roses?..

-when you think too'd feel as if you've been walkin round and round in foggy weather..with an umbrella..sometimes(or shall i say..most of the times?) its not cuz you wanna think..your mind just start to generate these thoughts..sometimes something happen..and you start to think..i admit..i think alot..alot of nonsense..few had told me ' dun think too much..' i know and understand..sometimes when others seem to be hiding something from you..they may mean well..cuz they dun wana hurt you..or they duno how to break the news out to they chose to hide it..or/and..they tell you ' dun think too much..' to be honest..i'd rather have the truth told to me..than havin it hide from me..i really dun like the feeling..knowin others are hiding something from i deal with whatever is being my business..not theirs..
so..just shoot me with the truth..cuz im not born yesterday..and in-case you dun are already hurting me..when you chose not to tell me...
*1st pic-4gotten where i got it bad..
*2nd pic-deviant ART
*3rd pic-black and white's tumblelog

Saturday, October 10, 2009


-Won't it be good for me
if i dont know how to think
won't it be good for me
if i haven't been born at all
I dont know anything anymore
all i know is i love you
thats all i know

*pics from Black and white's tumblelog

Thursday, October 8, 2009


-I found the words and say to you
not asking for an answer
not asking for anything
i just want these words out
even its already much too late

You may laugh at me
or even say i do not know what love is
you may say i don't even understand you
do you understand yourself?

I love you
it is what it is
i know very well
cuz i am me

Just me

Tuesday, October 6, 2009


-I dream of mermaids in the night
calling whispering
in the stillness of the night
' come to us..tell us your secret..come..'
they whisper
' we will help you my love..'
' we will help you find the words..'
'come..join us my love..come'
'take our hands..come..'

Whispering words sounds like
a haunting song
in the stillness of the night

I find myself
walking slowly slowly
towards the open sea
'come..take our hands my love..'
'we will take you to the one you love..come..'

*1st and 3rd pics from loveology
2nd pic from deviantART

Thursday, October 1, 2009


Can anyone tell me
how to get these unfound words out
in the open
out to you?
Can anyone tell me
what to do
what to say to you
Wana tell you to stay
wana shout it out to you
can you hear me?
can you see me?
Im here
always here
-1st n 2nd pics from deviantART
-forget where i get the last pic..sorry

Wednesday, September 23, 2009


-if i ask you to stay..will you?..i didnt tell you what are the reasons why i'd rather u go back..cuz i know you feel empty..feel pressured workin here..i know you won't stay for any-one..but i can't help ask..will you stay for her?..will you stay just cuz she asks you to everyday?..yes i know you have learnt alot from her..yes i know both of you are very very closed..and getting closer each day..which gal is able to take it..seeing another gal closed to the one she loves? much to say to you..but those words juz won't come..6 more months to go..and you are leaving..6 more months..

-please stay..don't go..please stay.........

*forget where i get the pics..sorry...

Saturday, September 12, 2009


-because i realise there's only you
because i realise there can be only you
because i realise i love you
i do not know how to
say these words to you
yet i'm sure you know
*1st pic-black and white's tumblelog
2nd pic-art&ghosts

Monday, September 7, 2009


- You are the only one i wana see
the only voice i long to hear

only you have the strength
to pull me through

You' re so near yet so far
so much i wana say to you
yet silence is all that is

Is this how its going to be
between us
a distance so huge
is this how its going to be
for us
silence is all that is

-I don't know what to do
with this heart of mine
i don't know how to deal
with this heart of mine

All the tears hurt and pain
live inside
there is only so much
i could bear

And yet no-one understands
no-one cares
telling me to stop loving you
protecting you from me they are

How can it be good
how is it better
when its you i can't forget
when its you thats been living inside
all these while

*pic from black and white's tumblelog

Wednesday, September 2, 2009


one by one is leavin..2b honest i no longer wana be strong anymore..2b honest i no longer see the point 2 anymore..what disappointed they knew whats happening..they knew whos the trouble-maker..and yet..still expected me to TRY for one last time..HELLO..ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!!! only human..theres a limit to how much i CAN bear too..yes i know this is life..i just have 2 deal with it blah blah blah whatever whatever..

nothing is going

What more can i do
except put this love for you inside
so much to say yet
words alone not enough

Does it even matter now
how much im missing you
eight more months
and you will be gone

Eight more months
what am i going to do
how am i going to be

*1st pic-black and white's tumblelog
2nd pic-the animal blog

Wednesday, August 26, 2009


I walk this line of scattering sound alone
hundreds and hundreds of egg-shells i walk
drowning myself deep in this breaking sound
echoing in the dark my breaking heart

-please stop tellin me to stop loving him just like that...please stop expecting me to stop thinking about it just like only human..i have feelings you forget...我也是人....

no longer know the definition of the word 'friend' friend(s) turn their back on you when ALL you need is a listenin ear? friend(s) mia like bubbles when ALL you need is some1 2b there?..some1 said 'i duno how 2 approach i just ignore her..'..what a gd way 2 just avoid and ignore..yes im an emo freak..yes i ONLY talk/ask bout the same old thing..ONLY talk/ask bout the same that y im a major turn-off? facin stress/pressure at work too..and yet others treat me as if i dun have feelings..when i cry..does any1 see?..does any1 know? them..i wont strong etc etc..none sees me at all..

its best to just shut my mouth..just stop talkin so freakin i feel isnt important anymore...cuz the thing now is..no1 cares..no1 bothers anymore....


-im standing here im always here
im not going anywhere
do you see me at all?
can you see me at all?

do you wana see me at all?

*all pics from Black and white's tumblelog

Tuesday, August 25, 2009



Tuesday, August 18, 2009


1st pic- would love to have this cute moody soft toy..looks just like me!..
2nd pic-am waiting for this movie..
3rd pic-a view i'd love to have every night when lyin in my bed..
4th pic-is the world comin to an end?..
*pics from,,tumblelog

Friday, August 14, 2009


i duno how to fill this emptiness you are feeling..and it makes me feel very useless and helpless...
it makes me sad knowin u feel empty and lonely..
*all pics from black and white's tumblelog

Wednesday, August 12, 2009


Finished watchin this old-school anime 'Candy candy' sure brings back alot of memories..watched the series on tv way way back..watched it again when i found it in Youtube..last week bought the whole series as it was on me childish or whatever..but i do love anime..i dont think its only for there are things about life to learn in anime..take 'Candy candy' for example..even though she been through alot..she still try 2b a cheerful helpful gal..she still try 2b positive..this a trait we have 2 learn in life no?..2b positive cheerful and helpful..yes i admit im no good in bein positive..no1 can beat me in begin negative..its true..which is y people say im emo..oh well..
dun u just like masks?..i to bits..every1 in life has a number of masks they it 2 protect themselves so others cant hurt them?..or is it just for show?..wearin masks i mean..
many things people only see from the surface..sometimes things arent what it appears 2b..sometimes things are simple..its our minds and what others say..that make it complicated..make it confusing..yes its alwaz easy to just open your mouth and takes alot of determination courage to ACTUALLY do it..esp when comes to love..yes i do know its better i dont think about it anymore..just let it tryin..i really am..but the thing i tryin hard enough? still learnin 2 understand still learnin 2 show him prove 2 not what i appear 2b..what others may say about me..but the thing is..does he notice im tryin?..does he wanna notice im tryin?..
i just miss him alot..miss those happy moments those happy times..
*all pics from deviatart