0150

-is it such a big sin i commited loving him so much?..why do some gals just enjoy making me feel upset/sad/miserable?..what is it about me that they simply love spreading rumours about me?..did i steal something precious in their life?..did i kill their family?..no..so why?..

few days ago i just gotta know about a rumour about me..it started spreading one year ago!!..if the ones spreading are just normal staff..i couldnt care less..but this time round..it was a supervisor and manager who spread it!!..yes both are best of friends..its ok they dont like me..cuz the feeling is mutual..i seriously duno what these two ladies are trying to do..what are their motive for spreading rumours about me..why they cant mind their own business..i really duno..

all i do is loving him..whats so wrong about it!?..im not harassing him..im not bothering him..so why?..why do these two gals enjoy doing what they do?..

*1st pic via the animal blog
sorry..4get where i get the 2nd pic*...

0200

dear L,

maybe ur not aware ur hurtin me..maybe u dun care at all..i really duno..whether u do what u do on purpose..jus to see my reaction..i jus wana tell u..plz stop hurtin me..

ever since ur back..i dun really wana see u again..but fate has it..i was bein transfered to the same shop as u..no..i didnt wana be in the same shop as u..but i cant say no..

have u ever think how i feel..knowin from others u patched back with ur X..n even engage to her?..have u ever think how this news affected me?..hearing it from others made it even worst..i gues u dun care at all..i should've believed what they said..when they told me..u'd patch back with her..the day u went back home..instead i chosed to believe u..simply cuz u said u wont etc etc..n now look what i got myself into...

why did u wana come back?..why bother to come back still..since u have long chosen her..u told them..u didnt feel happy at all.. ur engaged to her..u told them..it was an act of impulse..why is it until now u still lie to urself?..she is the only one u love..u cant let her go at all..why did u come back?...

i shouldnt come into ur life..i shouldnt join this company..what u used to say is right..u n me shouldnt know each other...i shouldnt fall for u..u n me shouldnt be so closed previously..

is it my fault now i still cant let u go?..is it my fault i still love u alot?..yes i know im the one suffering..yes i know u dun care at all how i feel..is it best i jus turn my back..leave this company n work somewhere?..

is it best i turn into bubbles..n be totally out of ur life?...

*4gotten where i get the pics*

0132

-Can time really heal..or it makes the memories clearer?..its only now i realise he felt guilty the day he broke up with her..because he didnt want to let her go at all..so its only natural he patch back with her..and even engaged to her...it doesnt matter to him..hurting me..cuz all these while..im nothing to him..why then i still cant let him go?..why do i still feel upset/jealous..when i see other gals fightin for his attention?..i already know all along she is the only 1 in his heart..why should i even bother now?...

-feel much unappreciated at work..every manager likes staff to lick his/her boots..every manager protects boots-lickers..unfortunately i dont sugar-coat my words..and when im piss off..i show it..which explains why the upper management dislike me..so what im being told im hard-working?..they prefer staff who smiles..act happy everyday..so tell me..whats the point?..im too tire on all these shit....

*sorry..4get where i get the pics...*