2339

-guess im not suitable to love some-one..or even develop feelings for some-one...whenever it happens..there are sure to be gals competitng..usually i'd give up..cuz i dont like competition..whats wrong with me i do not know..guess im fated to be alone huh?..

*1st pic-black and white tumblr
*2nd pic-the animal blog

0100

-Thousands of tears falling
behind my smiles and laughter

thousands of tears hiding

thousands of tears camouflage

Its all a pathetic mask im wearing
a mask for all to see
unveil this if u dare
unveil me if u care

Them tears are falling
for u
them tears are reaching out
to u

Im reaching out to u
do u see me at all?
can u see me at all?

-when a person changed..he jz changed..no reason at all..when some1 u love changed..it breaks the heart n mind..a misunderstanding?..i dun understand him?..i duno him at all?..i dun think so...

i know my words has zero effect on him..i know he dun give a shit my thoughts my feelings..so y should i even care..even bother!?..its really none of my business he changed or not now..his words/actions shouldnt have any effect on me anymore..y until now it still do?..y until now i still bother?..y until now im still so stupid?..y until now i still love him?...

*my bad..forgotten where i got the pics in this n the previous post*

2300

-theres no word that can be describe when u realise that special some1 u love changed..when u realised that special some1 had been brain-washed successfully by others..i misunderstand him?..maybe i did..i really duno..people change..this i know..or this is the real him that i refuse to accept..simply cuz i love him?..*sigh*..

-An air-ticket took u away
an air-ticket changes it all
is this what u've been planning for all these while?
this is the ending u want
from me

Everything is different now
is it even possible to treat u back as before?
honestly i do not know

I have to stop crying
have to stop dwelling
with that air-ticket
u walk out of my life

Why come back
when your heart isnt here?
why come back
when u decided long ago
im the one u chosed to hurt

0120

i didnt thought u'd hurt me this bad..now i know..now i know what a stupid fool i've been ..for the past two years..not once i give up on u..even though it wasnt easy to hang on..and now u went n found some1..no its not your fault..u didnt give me any commitment..u didnt promise me anything..its my fault..i put myself in this..i should've known this would happen..the day u went back home..

u wont know or want to know or care how i feel..dont worry..i wont bother u anymore..i will walk out of your world myself..

0024

yUp im here to vent again....

more rumours are being spread now that i've been transfer to the land of big mouths and rotten tongues..its not the first time those same-old people are happily makin my boring life exciting..spreading untrue rumors around..happily passin it to other outlets..it makes me wonder..why these people simply love to mind other people business?..is it cuz their own life is way too borin..or they are 'helping' makin other people life more 'enjoyable'?..

then again..why should i care?..why should i bother?..they love to spread rumours..they can carry on spreadin til the cows come home..i wouldn't care..

1st and 2nd pic-the animal blog

forget where i got the last pic..my bad..

0200

its true isnt it?..theres no1 u can really open up to when u need some1 to just listen..and not give advise..many people just love to mind other people business..and help spread it around the world..and often what they spread isnt true at all..i always believe a story has two sides..but not every1 thinks/feels that way..

i dun wana listen to anymore useless gossipings..chatterings about others..its too tiring..im not interested too..i dun like workin with big mouths..rotten tongues..sadly anywhere u work is the same..more or less..what people say kill another faster than a bullet shot straight to your heart or head..

im lookin for a way out..i want a way out..i need a way out..im just me..what is happening to this human race?..

2240

i need a break a vaca BADLY..its way way past my limitations..my cup had long been over-flown for too long..its time to empty it..i need to n mz pack my bag and go..get away from all these shit..be gone..i dun wan..and cant be that strong gal every1 says i am..i am not strong..i repeat..i am not strong..im a human being with feelings too..

yes go ahead say im playin the vicitm..go ahead say im bein sensitive blah blah blah..if u knew what kind of words were bein threw at me..what would u say then?..yes i can totally ignore..cz work is work..i dun have 2 care..jz do my part..but i ask u..whats the point doing my part in work..n ppl are out 2 get u for personal reasons?..for no reason at all..jz simply 'i dun like ur face..'!?..

im tire..too tire everytime this kind of shit thing happens..im tire too tire to let blood pay blood..i dun want to play..i aint got time and energy to play..cuz im too tire..i dun want to go back my 'old ways'..it doesnt mean im good to bully jz cz i keep quiet..if u think im goin down alone when u force me to..u better think twice..cuz i promise i will pull u down with me..cuz u force me to..u seriously should think twice..once my word is out..u better watch out..

yes i can turn my back..walk away..or u rather i become the 'old' me..play this stupid game of urs..cz the more the merrier..its ur call..