0231

-not allow to cry

so much 2 say 2 vent 2 pour out..yet silence is all there is..very soon the 1st month of 2010 will be gone..soon those i can click with will be gone..r gone..they r not juz passer-bys in my life..am i juz one easily 4gotten passer-by to them?..i really have no idea..

alot had been happening..all these stuff are leavin me tire..very tire..doors r closed when i needed some1 2 talk 2..yes..every1 has his/her own problems..maybe its jz me..maybe i overthink things..i really duno..the only thing i know is...very soon ## will be leaving..very soon..

is any1 out there willing to listen 2 me?...is there?..

-On this road i lay
pretending to be dead
pretending im unable to see to hear
blocking out almost everything every1
im sorry
i can pretend no more..

Wishing i have the guts
to say out loud to u
'plz stay..i need u here..stay..'

1st pic-qq.com
4gotten where i get the 2nd pic from..

0131

-im not some-one who can easily say how i feel..esp to u..usually everything goes wrong when im talkin with u..the words come out wrong..my tone comes out wrong too..yes im useless like that..im not like other gals..who know how to play around with words..im not like them..who know how to win your attention..im just me..i do not know how or what to do..to have u realise..the love i have for u is real..'let nature takes its course..' they say.. 'just relax..and things will be ok gal..' they say..is it gonna to be?..the time for u to leave is drawin near..and yet i still cant tell u..whether in person or not..i love u..plz dun go..stay stay stay...

*1st pic-le love

*2nd pic-karishma.tumblr

*3rd pic-qq.com

1438

-dont go..dont go..

-come with me and listen to what the stars are saying?..

-a glittering black rose just for u..

There's a musical box
playing softly in here
can u hear it?
are u able to?
do u want to?

It's always in here
waiting wishing
some-one to notice it to treasure it
waiting wishing
u would

It remains inside here
every-one forgets about it
it remains inside here
no-one willing to open it

My musical box is playing

can u hear me?

*all pics from kari-shma tumblelog

0053

-the same expression i wana do whenever im face with troublems..unhappiness etc..

-im not this strong gal almost every-one thinks i am..i do want some-one to hold my hand..tell me its gonna be ok..im just human..after all..

-a word i keep telling my mind..trying hard to shut it up..trying hard to be numb..trying hard not to feel as much..i duno why..but lately been losing the will to live..no..im not talking about killing myself..i wont have the guts to do so anyway..its just..i duno why im here..in this place..doing what im doing..i duno what is there left to fight for in life anymore..it seems like..no matter what i do..is not enough..its liked..im not trying hard enough..i duno how to make an effort..i duno am i making enough effort..and i dont wana give up..just like that..im losing sleep..

-'stay..dont go..plz..stay..i need you here..' these words..when will i have the courage to say to you?..

*1st and 2nd pics from the animalblog

*4gotten where i get the last pic..my bad..

2137

-yes i needed this..

-times like this..i wish i could turn into bubbles..and just be blown away..vanish..vanish..be gone..

-Im walking in circles

round and round

no begining no end

All is dark

i cant see

where is everybody?

why am i alone here?

Is there even some-one

i could really turn to?

is there a hand

to hold me through?

Im walking in circles

round and round

*all pics from kari-shma tumblr

0026

-Little broken butterflies
flying out from within of me
wanting wishing to be there with you

I'm calling out to you
can you hear me?


-these two words i've said to you..what i wana tell you is more than just words..words alone cant express what my heart wanna tell you..stay..plz dont go..stay..

-often i ask myself why i started this blog..true it serves as an outlet for me..to pen down when im sad..it serves as an outlet for me to write my poems..but..really..why i started this blog?..

words alone cant truly express my feelings..nowadays i dun really wana talk much too..cuz it seems every-one around me is busy..no time for me..i suppose its mostly cuz they are sick and tire of hearin my constant whining..my constant complaining..

*1st pic-deviantart.com
forgotten where i got 2nd and 3rd pics..sorry..

0212

-love this pic..alwaz make me smile a little..

-does any-one knows where i can get black roses?..

-when you think too much..it'd feel as if you've been walkin round and round in foggy weather..with an umbrella..sometimes(or shall i say..most of the times?) its not cuz you wanna think..your mind just start to generate these thoughts..sometimes something happen..and you start to think..i admit..i think alot..alot of nonsense..few had told me ' dun think too much..' i know and understand..sometimes when others seem to be hiding something from you..they may mean well..cuz they dun wana hurt you..or they duno how to break the news out to you..so they chose to hide it..or/and..they tell you ' dun think too much..' to be honest..i'd rather have the truth told to me..than havin it hide from me..i really dun like the feeling..knowin others are hiding something from me..how i deal with whatever is being told..is my business..not theirs..

so..just shoot me with the truth..cuz im not born yesterday..and in-case you dun know..you are already hurting me..when you chose not to tell me...

*1st pic-4gotten where i got it from..my bad..

*2nd pic-deviant ART

*3rd pic-black and white's tumblelog