0131

-im not some-one who can easily say how i feel..esp to u..usually everything goes wrong when im talkin with u..the words come out wrong..my tone comes out wrong too..yes im useless like that..im not like other gals..who know how to play around with words..im not like them..who know how to win your attention..im just me..i do not know how or what to do..to have u realise..the love i have for u is real..'let nature takes its course..' they say.. 'just relax..and things will be ok gal..' they say..is it gonna to be?..the time for u to leave is drawin near..and yet i still cant tell u..whether in person or not..i love u..plz dun go..stay stay stay...

*1st pic-le love

*2nd pic-karishma.tumblr

*3rd pic-qq.com

1438

-dont go..dont go..

-come with me and listen to what the stars are saying?..

-a glittering black rose just for u..

There's a musical box
playing softly in here
can u hear it?
are u able to?
do u want to?

It's always in here
waiting wishing
some-one to notice it to treasure it
waiting wishing
u would

It remains inside here
every-one forgets about it
it remains inside here
no-one willing to open it

My musical box is playing

can u hear me?

*all pics from kari-shma tumblelog

0053

-the same expression i wana do whenever im face with troublems..unhappiness etc..

-im not this strong gal almost every-one thinks i am..i do want some-one to hold my hand..tell me its gonna be ok..im just human..after all..

-a word i keep telling my mind..trying hard to shut it up..trying hard to be numb..trying hard not to feel as much..i duno why..but lately been losing the will to live..no..im not talking about killing myself..i wont have the guts to do so anyway..its just..i duno why im here..in this place..doing what im doing..i duno what is there left to fight for in life anymore..it seems like..no matter what i do..is not enough..its liked..im not trying hard enough..i duno how to make an effort..i duno am i making enough effort..and i dont wana give up..just like that..im losing sleep..

-'stay..dont go..plz..stay..i need you here..' these words..when will i have the courage to say to you?..

*1st and 2nd pics from the animalblog

*4gotten where i get the last pic..my bad..

2137

-yes i needed this..

-times like this..i wish i could turn into bubbles..and just be blown away..vanish..vanish..be gone..

-Im walking in circles

round and round

no begining no end

All is dark

i cant see

where is everybody?

why am i alone here?

Is there even some-one

i could really turn to?

is there a hand

to hold me through?

Im walking in circles

round and round

*all pics from kari-shma tumblr

0026

-Little broken butterflies
flying out from within of me
wanting wishing to be there with you

I'm calling out to you
can you hear me?


-these two words i've said to you..what i wana tell you is more than just words..words alone cant express what my heart wanna tell you..stay..plz dont go..stay..

-often i ask myself why i started this blog..true it serves as an outlet for me..to pen down when im sad..it serves as an outlet for me to write my poems..but..really..why i started this blog?..

words alone cant truly express my feelings..nowadays i dun really wana talk much too..cuz it seems every-one around me is busy..no time for me..i suppose its mostly cuz they are sick and tire of hearin my constant whining..my constant complaining..

*1st pic-deviantart.com
forgotten where i got 2nd and 3rd pics..sorry..

0212

-love this pic..alwaz make me smile a little..

-does any-one knows where i can get black roses?..

-when you think too much..it'd feel as if you've been walkin round and round in foggy weather..with an umbrella..sometimes(or shall i say..most of the times?) its not cuz you wanna think..your mind just start to generate these thoughts..sometimes something happen..and you start to think..i admit..i think alot..alot of nonsense..few had told me ' dun think too much..' i know and understand..sometimes when others seem to be hiding something from you..they may mean well..cuz they dun wana hurt you..or they duno how to break the news out to you..so they chose to hide it..or/and..they tell you ' dun think too much..' to be honest..i'd rather have the truth told to me..than havin it hide from me..i really dun like the feeling..knowin others are hiding something from me..how i deal with whatever is being told..is my business..not theirs..

so..just shoot me with the truth..cuz im not born yesterday..and in-case you dun know..you are already hurting me..when you chose not to tell me...

*1st pic-4gotten where i got it from..my bad..

*2nd pic-deviant ART

*3rd pic-black and white's tumblelog

1713

-Won't it be good for me
if i dont know how to think
won't it be good for me
if i haven't been born at all

I dont know anything anymore
all i know is i love you
thats all i know

-我只在乎你..你知道吗?..我还能说啥?..

*pics from Black and white's tumblelog

0047

-I found the words and say to you
not asking for an answer
not asking for anything
i just want these words out
even its already much too late

You may laugh at me
or even say i do not know what love is
you may say i don't even understand you
do you understand yourself?

I love you
it is what it is
i know very well
cuz i am me

Just me

0207

-I dream of mermaids in the night
calling whispering
in the stillness of the night
' come to us..tell us your secret..come..'
they whisper
' we will help you my love..'
' we will help you find the words..'

'come..join us my love..come'

'take our hands..come..'

Whispering words sounds like
a haunting song

in the stillness of the night

I find myself
walking slowly slowly
towards the open sea
'come..take our hands my love..'
'we will take you to him..to the one you love..come..'

*1st and 3rd pics from loveology
2nd pic from deviantART

2330

Can anyone tell me
how to get these unfound words out
in the open
out to you?

Can anyone tell me
what to do
what to say to you

Wana tell you to stay
wana shout it out to you
can you hear me?

can you see me?

Im here
always here

Stay

-1st n 2nd pics from deviantART

-forget where i get the last pic..sorry

2242

-if i ask you to stay..will you?..i didnt tell you what are the reasons why i'd rather u go back..cuz i know you feel empty..feel pressured workin here..i know you won't stay for any-one..but i can't help ask..will you stay for her?..will you stay just cuz she asks you to everyday?..yes i know you have learnt alot from her..yes i know both of you are very very closed..and getting closer each day..which gal is able to take it..seeing another gal closed to the one she loves?..so much to say to you..but those words juz won't come..6 more months to go..and you are leaving..6 more months..

-please stay..don't go..please stay.........

*forget where i get the pics..sorry...

0039

-because i realise there's only you
because i realise there can be only you
because i realise i love you
i do not know how to
say these words to you
yet i'm sure you know

心里只有你...

*1st pic-black and white's tumblelog

2nd pic-art&ghosts

0112

- You are the only one i wana see
the only voice i long to hear
only you have the strength
to pull me through

You' re so near yet so far
so much i wana say to you
yet silence is all that is

Is this how its going to be
between us
a distance so huge
is this how its going to be
for us
silence is all that is

-I don't know what to do
with this heart of mine
i don't know how to deal
with this heart of mine

All the tears hurt and pain
live inside
there is only so much
i could bear

And yet no-one understands
no-one cares
telling me to stop loving you
protecting you from me they are

How can it be good
how is it better
when its you i can't forget
when its you thats been living inside
all these while

*pic from black and white's tumblelog

2250

one by one is leavin..2b honest i no longer wana be strong anymore..2b honest i no longer see the point 2 anymore..what disappointed me..is they knew whats happening..they knew whos the trouble-maker..and yet..still expected me to TRY for one last time..HELLO..ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!!!..im only human..theres a limit to how much i CAN bear too..yes i know this is life..i just have 2 deal with it blah blah blah whatever whatever..

nothing is going well..work..life..

What more can i do
except put this love for you inside
so much to say yet
words alone not enough

Does it even matter now
how much im missing you
eight more months
and you will be gone

Eight more months
what am i going to do
how am i going to be

*1st pic-black and white's tumblelog
2nd pic-the animal blog

0152

I walk this line of scattering sound alone
hundreds and hundreds of egg-shells i walk
drowning myself deep in this breaking sound
echoing in the dark my breaking heart

-please stop tellin me to stop loving him just like that...please stop expecting me to stop thinking about it just like that...im only human..i have feelings too...in-case you forget...我也是人....

no longer know the definition of the word 'friend'..do friend(s) turn their back on you when ALL you need is a listenin ear?..do friend(s) mia like bubbles when ALL you need is some1 2b there?..some1 said 'i duno how 2 approach her..so i just ignore her..'..what a gd way 2 just avoid and ignore..yes im an emo freak..yes i ONLY talk/ask bout the same old thing..ONLY talk/ask bout the same person..is that y im a major turn-off?..im facin stress/pressure at work too..and yet others treat me as if i dun have feelings..when i cry..does any1 see?..does any1 know?..no..to them..i wont cry..im strong etc etc..none sees me at all..

its best to just shut my mouth..just stop talkin so freakin much..how i feel isnt important anymore...cuz the thing now is..no1 cares..no1 bothers anymore....

你们已看不到我了...

-im standing here im always here
im not going anywhere
do you see me at all?
can you see me at all?

do you wana see me at all?

我不会胜过一个你无法忘掉的她

我无法胜过一个已在你心里的她

你是不会看到我流泪

没有人会看到我流泪

只因为没有人会在乎

*all pics from Black and white's tumblelog

0121

我知道在你心里你还爱着她..
也知道在你心里没有我..
你不用管我也不用理我..
两年后再和她走下去..
只有她可以令你更辛福更开心..
对不起我只是要你开心..
对不起我心已放不下其他人..
处了你..
对不起我已爱上你..

2359

1st pic- would love to have this cute moody soft toy..looks just like me!..

2nd pic-am waiting for this movie..

3rd pic-a view i'd love to have every night when lyin in my bed..

4th pic-is the world comin to an end?..

*pics from msn.com,yahoo.com,tumblelog

只要你开开心心..

只要看到你的笑容..

就可以了..

就算在你心里的她不是我..

我还是会在这默默地支持你..

0037

你会看得到我的努力吗?..

你会感觉得到吗?..

很多话想对你说但又说不出..

i duno how to fill this emptiness you are feeling..and it makes me feel very useless and helpless...

it makes me sad knowin u feel empty and lonely..

*all pics from black and white's tumblelog

2359

Finished watchin this old-school anime 'Candy candy'..it sure brings back alot of memories..watched the series on tv way way back..watched it again when i found it in Youtube..last week bought the whole series as it was on discount..call me childish or whatever..but i do love anime..i dont think its only for children..as there are things about life to learn in anime..take 'Candy candy' for example..even though she been through alot..she still try 2b a cheerful helpful gal..she still try 2b positive..this a trait we have 2 learn in life no?..2b positive cheerful and helpful..yes i admit im no good in bein positive..no1 can beat me in begin negative..its true..which is y people say im emo..oh well..

dun u just like masks?..i do..love to bits..every1 in life has a number of masks they wear..is it 2 protect themselves so others cant hurt them?..or is it just for show?..wearin masks i mean..

many things people only see from the surface..sometimes things arent what it appears 2b..sometimes things are simple..its our minds and what others say..that make it complicated..make it confusing..yes its alwaz easy to just open your mouth and say..it takes alot of determination courage to ACTUALLY do it..esp when comes to love..yes i do know its better i dont think about it anymore..just let it flow..im tryin..i really am..but the thing is..am i tryin hard enough?..im still learnin 2 understand him..im still learnin 2 show him prove 2 him..im not what i appear 2b..what others may say about me..but the thing is..does he notice im tryin?..does he wanna notice im tryin?..

i just miss him alot..miss those happy moments those happy times..

你要相信你的负出是看得到的

你要相信自己

不要去管人家说啥

你要加油!

*all pics from deviatart